LIONEL ASBO: STATE OF ENGLAND

'Why aren't you out smashing windows? It's not healthy'. Lionel Asbo - a very violent but not very successful criminal - has always looked out for his nephew, Desmond Pepperdine. He gives him fatherly advice (carry a knife) and introduces him to the joys of Internet porn.

Des, on the other hand, desires nothing more than books, a girl to love and to steer clear Uncle Li's psychotic pitbulls, Joe and Jeff. Lionel is going about his morning duties in a London prison when he learns that he has just won GBP139,999,999.50 on the National Lottery. This is not necessarily good news for Des who has a secret that could unleash his uncle's implacable vengeance.